10 things only fish that grew up in the Devonian will understand. You’ll love number 7!

Leedsichthys & Liopleurodon

Leedsichthys & Liopleurodon when every day was a party.

Fish these days just don’t know how good they had it though really.

Many fish are proud to say I grew up in the ’70s and ’80s.  400,000,070’s BC that is; and whilst some weren’t so fond of the behaviour of unruly Prototaxities, despite them being fun-guys to be with (one for the evolutionary biologists); it’s still clear that if you wanted to be in the party, you did it in the Devonian.

Come to think of it, it’s pretty amazing that any fish from that time period even survived to adulthood.  It was a fish eat fish world back then but still a world full of fish on top after-all.  It wasn’t the ‘Age of Fish’ for nothing.

With that in mind here are 13 things only fish that grew up in the Devonian will truly understand.

  1.  Being Devonian didn’t mean claiming the ‘pasty’ as your own and saying ere innit.*

  2.  You could ‘adaptively radiate’ without anyone accusing you of ‘manspreading’.

  3. Plants could lay down some serious roots and spread their seed without some bloody tree-hugging liberal krusty getting in the way.  Okay not specifically about fish but bugger it, it all helped.

  4. Racism was uncommon amongst fish and increased diversity was celebrated, although the agreement was ‘lunch is lunch’ right.

  5. Back in the day you could adapt to walking as well as swim. Evolution?!  Go figure.

  6. Parties around Gondwana were banging before management split.

  7. It was mostly a year round tropical holiday.

  8. There was more sea to swim in.  Who doesn’t want more room right?

  9. More sharks kept you fit.  None of these obese fish you see waddling around these days.

  10. ‘Trilobyte watching’ was a thing.  Look mum there’s one that looks like a fridge!  Whats a fridge?  No idea.

  11. George Lucas hadn’t almost completely ruined Star Wars.  Yes that’s right.  Even among the paraphyletic group of organisms that consist of all gill-bearing aquatic craniate animals that lack limbs with digits this is universal knowledge.

  12. Carbon offsetting would be considered a level of pointlessness two scoops the size of Birmingham.**

  13. You wouldn’t have found your brother’s-sister’s-mother’s-lover’s-cousin’s-daughter’s former room-mate on a plate (or you for that matter).***

 

 

 

 

*One for the Devonian English.
** Birmingham England or the US.  Both are sizable.
***There were no plates. Well not the eating off kind anyway.

 

 

 

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